Children's parties on a shoestring

I know that this blog strictly speaking is about my non-essential spending on myself, but I thought that ideas on keeping the expense of children's parties to a minimum might be of interest as well.

Our three lions for the party!

My little girl turned 3 last Monday and so for the past month (no kidding) she has been meticulously planning her celebrations!  Given her age I was hoping to get away with a little family birthday tea, and perhaps a weekend day-trip out to a farm park or somewhere similar that she would like.  But no: my daughter had other ideas!  I suppose that being the youngest of three she is accustomed to birthday parties, and so of course, she expects the same!

And so for the last 4 weeks or so, the topic of birthday parties has dominated our conversations... initiated by her.  We (she!) sorted out who was to be invited, what games we would play and what food would be provided, the most important item being the CHOCOLATE CAKE!

Although a proper party would not be my own choice for such a little one, we managed a very relaxed chilled-out affair *on a shoestring* which everyone seemed to enjoy.  The only expense (which was optional) was the accessories - such as party hats, and themed paper plates.  Party food expenses were low - jam or cheese sandwiches, chopped carrots, grapes, tomatoes and cucumber, a pack of biscuits and crisps and the all important chocolate cake.  I am not a fan of party-bags and certainly don't feel pressure to conform for this age group, so instead we had a basket of sweets and stickers that the guests could choose from before they left. There were also sweets and a little gift in the pass-the-parcel, but all in all, it was a lovely homely event focused on the children having fun, rather than being sucked into the commercial whirl of party expenses which is so easy to fall into.

Dog in a party mood...

Halloween on a shoestring

It is so lovely to watch the children tonight, so excited to answer the door to neighbours who are out and about trick-or-treating!  It gives them so much joy, and such a simple pleasure that barely costs a penny!  All that is required in preparation is a trip to the local shop for some sweets, a dig around in the dressing-up basket and some face-painting: this year I have a little fairy, a skeleton, and Dracula - and a big daddy skeleton as well.  Then all we have to do is wait... knock, knock sends our three kids to the door to greet the other beasties with treats of sweets and chocolate ... again and again!  What fun!

My scary family!

Preparations for Christmas

It seems appropriate this year for us to do what we call our "Victorian Christmas".  This is what we tried a couple of years ago, and it worked really well.  I don't mean that we dress up in Victorian costume and eat traditional dishes which have taken weeks to prepare.  Our Victorian Christmas consists of asking family to contribute what they are happy to towards one present for each of us.  So we basically each get one present (plus, perhaps, a few small gifts from friends we exchange presents with: we don't always feel we can ask them to partake in our eccentric ways!)  So the boys got a table football set last year, Chris and I bought a bread-maker with the money given to us both, and Yasmin got a trike.  As everyone contributes, it means that the children are each able to buy something fairly substantial, rather than having lots of plastic toys that very quickly get discarded anyway.  And generally, it means we all get something that we really need, or would find very useful and engaging.

So, as this year is "living on a shoestring" for me at least, it seems right to have another go at our Victorian Christmas.  It was actually Felix's idea to repeat the experiment, as he enjoyed it last time round. So that's decided.  We just have to let our families know! But I think they're getting used to our funny experiments of electricity-free days and Victorian Christmases!

Bartering

Since we have a couple of quite productive hens, we often give away boxes of eggs to friends and family. In the summer months the giving often extends to fruit and vegetables that we have grown ourselves.  However I have only once bartered, out of desperation one weekend when I had friends coming over for lunch and needed a leek for the recipe.  You may be wondering why I hadn't planned a lunch party more carefully and bought all of the necessary ingredients before the night before!  Well I had, I thought, until I realised that the last leek had already been used.  So quick thinking sent me rushing around to my neighbours who have an allotment.  They are lovely, and happily accepted my proposal of swapping a couple of leeks for a box of our eggs. Everyone a winner!  I was so excited!!  It was really satisfying obtaining goods in exchange for others that we had produced, and with no money changing hands!  I think I was probably born in the wrong century...

I was in my element this morning, out in the crisp autumn air; the blues skies and leaves on the ground enticed me to get out into the garden and deal with some of our summer pots that needed clearing out and preparing for spring bulbs.  The icing on the cake, for me, was having a cup of coffee and listening to the Food Programme on Radio 4.  It was a very appropriate listen, because today's episode was on "How to waste less food".  It was very inspiring, discussing innovative people all around Britain who are joining the food revolution in their own ways (including a co-operative in London who have asked a chef to create delicious dishes out of nearly-out-of-date food that will otherwise end up as waste).  One company that I liked the sound of, partly because of the name, is Rubies in the Rubble. They collect unwanted fruit and vegetables from Spitalfields Market and turn them into delicious chutneys and preserves.  Similarly, The Garden Cider Company in Surrey make use of their community's glut of apples, turning them into cider, giving their donors part of the produce and selling some as well.

"Donate, Don't Dump!"

I saw this slogan in Primrose Hill a few weekends ago, in the window of a charity shop owned by Mary Portas - brilliant!  For those of you who are not familiar with this part of London, it is pretty smart with a bohemian twist: lots of wine bars, gift shops, boutiques and a lovely health-food shop and a fantastic second-hand book shop which really defines the area.

This was not your average charity shop, although having said that, gone are the days when charity shops were associated with old ladies looking for uninspiring blouses and skirts.  When I was growing up, I think I got the impression from my parent's that you don't shop in Charity shops - or at least that admitting that you do is slightly embarrassing.  So in my late teens it almost felt like a rebellion to go into one and find some cool piece of retro clothing (either from the 70s or even 60s, and with the emphasis on the hippy look. Luckily, no-one has kept the photos). Since having children, it now seems completely acceptable to browse in a charity shop; they are brilliant for baby clothes, which are often not very worn and which can save a lot of money. It's a lot better than buying things brand-new at that stage, since the little one will only fit into an outfit for a matter of months.

So it is partly as a result of moving through different stages of my life that I have changed my attitude to charity shops.  But I think there has been a wider change of perceptions, so that now it is generally seen as a good thing to be supporting a charity, and charity shops themselves are seen as places where you can find amazing bargains (from designer-wear to useful accessories, all of which  are generally in good condition and won't break the bank).  Gone is the stigma of wearing something that someone else has owned before you.

To be a connoisseur of charity shops, I think the key is probably location.  I use them from time to time, but my favourite type of bargain shop is actually a bric-a-brac/ antique store in Salisbury.  So I am still learning this skill of finding great things in charity shops.  "Donate, don't dump"... is the bit I have got the hang of; but now with the prospect of moving house looming for us, I will have to frequent those shops more often, looking for bargains to furnish our new home with - my plan is to start with a car-boot sale in the next few weeks, and see how I get on... I will keep you posted about any finds!

Brown paper

I have flash-backs of my Granny, and her saving habits, when I catch myself saving pieces of brown paper for wrapping up parcels.  My sister and I, as children, were always amazed at how much stationery Granny re-used.  She had a cupboard dedicated to paper, string and all the other paraphernalia used for wrapping.  Even now, I can visualise her folding up a piece of brown paper nicely and neatly into a square and in the cupboard it went... for another occasion!  Although it's probably not rational to be saving paper as if we were still in the middle of the Second World War, I can understand why women from my Granny's generation adopted such habits.  And it's not a completely mad thing to do - there are so many uses for a scrap piece of brown paper: sending a parcel, endless creative projects with children, wrapping presents up...  In our extended family, it is certainly a habit that has crept through the generations - my mother, sister and me are all made fun of (in an affectionate way) by our partners for our stock-piling tendencies (from tinned food, to toiletries to stationery...)  The habit has become a bit less eccentric down the generations, but it is certainly a principle that has been instilled in us: "waste not, want not."

That brings me to a related topic: gift wrapping.  I always used to be a little disappointed by the fact that my husband did not see it as necessary to wrap up my birthday gifts (and sometimes even Christmas ones).  I can see that it could be seen as a great waste to wrap up a present in expensive gift-wrap which is only going to be ripped off days later and then thrown in the bin!  But the element of surprise by the recipient, and the pleasure in the effort put in by the giver, is down to the presentation.  Over the years, we seem to have met somewhere in the middle on this issue by finding creative ways of wrapping: using materials or blankets to hide presents, or baskets or bags that will be re-used, or discarded boxes screaming to be used again.  I suppose that the difference may be a gender thing. I am always reluctant to stereotype in this way, but many women seem to have this appreciation for gifts and pretty things, in a way that many men just cannot see the purpose of.  So when he gives me a non-wrapped present, Chris reminds me that we should consider the environment, and I remind him of the joys of receiving a genuine surprise!

3 for 2...

The dangerous world of bargains:  I heard on the news today that only 40% of people who have loyalty cards actually benefit from them.  It is easy to get sucked into offers - or yet another card to squash into your wallet - all because if you are getting something for free, then why not?  My husband always laughs at me when I don't automatically tune into these bargains, and I do get some funny looks from shop assistants when I don't want to add an enormous bar of chocolate for £1 to my shopping basket!

Don't get me wrong: sometimes offers can be very helpful and really worth it.  But I don't understand this obsession with making sure that you don't lose out on any bargain however pointless and without thinking it through!  My step-father in law has stacks of cereals and various other food stuffs in every nook and cranny - above the cupboards, in the utility room - everywhere!

It does annoy me that marketing companies lure in people - many of whom can't really afford the items they are buying - into buying something extra, convincing them that "they really need it".  I could really start ranting about car hire insurance deals, appliance insurance, shoe polish for a particular pair of shoes.... but best not to!

I suppose what I would really like to see is more ethical companies and stores selling goods of good quality and produced in an eco-friendly manner, and less mindless persuasion for people to buy more than they need just to increase the profits of multi-national companies.

I promise a more light-hearted post next week about brown paper and packaging!